Month: May 2016
Wow, you got that off the Internet?
Oh sure! For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs! There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like! I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Five hours? Yeah, and if you were the pope they’d be all, “Straighten your… Continue reading Wow, you got that off the Internet?
With a warning label
Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. You’re going to do his laundry? Say what? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own!… Continue reading With a warning label
You have a good heart
Whoa a real live robot; or is that some kind of cheesy New Year’s costume? You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see! Soon enough. Who are you, my warranty?! Bite my shiny metal ass. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Oh, I always feared he… Continue reading You have a good heart