I love you, buddy And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. File not found. Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them? Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never… Continue reading And so we say goodbye
Category: Life
I’m going to remind
Why did you bring us here? This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this day. I had more, but you go ahead. Goodbye, friends. I never thought I’d die like this. But I always really hoped. Wow! A superpowers drug… Continue reading I’m going to remind
Tonight’s the night
Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I like seafood. I’m really more an apartment person. I’m generally confused most of the time. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as… Continue reading Tonight’s the night
As an interesting side note
With a warning label
Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. You’re going to do his laundry? Say what? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own!… Continue reading With a warning label
Actually, that’s still true
Really?! The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public… Continue reading Actually, that’s still true
Michelle, I don’t regret
Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they… Continue reading Michelle, I don’t regret
Doomsday Devices
There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will ‘destroy’ you! Why yes! Thanks for noticing. No, just a regular mistake. These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are. I’ve been there.… Continue reading Doomsday Devices